Tian Yu
When I got married, my family advised me that “All lay loads on the willing horse,” that after marriage, I must be in charge so that I’m not taken advantage of, so that my life will be fulfilled and happy. So, after marriage, I always wanted to be in charge and that whatever I said would go. In the beginning, my husband would consult me for all matters big and small in our home. But as time went on, he would often not consult with me, but do things according to his will. Because of this, I felt rather unhappy. I felt that my husband didn’t take me seriously. I thought, “If things continue like this, I wouldn’t have a place to stand on in this family.” In order that I could be in charge, I would often sulk and ignore my husband until he softened and said nice things to me, and things only ended when I was satisfied.
One year, during the Spring Festival, my husband consulted with me to kill the pig we had at home. I said we’d feed it for a few more days. At the time, he agreed with me completely. But I didn’t expect that the next morning the pig butcher came. At the time, I pretended as if nothing was wrong and greeted him until the pig was killed, but then I complained to my husband that he didn’t consult with me beforehand. My husband kept explaining to me the reason the butcher had to come earlier, but I couldn’t listen to him at all. No matter how he explained, I ignored him. In order to get on my good side, when I was doing work, he purposefully came over to help me, but I kept my unpleasant expression. In the end, he had to leave dejectedly. Looking at him leaving helplessly, I felt very miserable too. Why are we suffering like this? Why couldn’t I have given him a way out without embarrassing him? But then I thought that there is still a long way ahead of us. If I relent easily now, then he wouldn’t take notice of me at all. How could I be in charge of the house then? No, I cannot relent so easily. So, even though I really wanted to make up with my husband and didn’t want to continue our stalemate, I still held on sternly. No matter how he apologized, I didn’t speak to him until he pleaded me and promised that next time he would definitely consult with me. Only then did I condescend to speak to him.