Christian Testimonies - Testimony of a Christian: How She Overcame the Temptation to Have an Affair (Audio Essay, Part 2)
Xiyue
Over the next few days, although Jingru had not fallen into Satan’s temptation and she knew that she could never be with Wang Wei, her meeting with Wang Wei that evening and his sincere confession replayed in her mind over and over like a scene in a movie …
When Wang Wei called her again, Jingru’s heart was a bit shaken, and she said to herself: “The two of us cannot get together, but we can still be ordinary friends. So long as I keep my feet so that I don’t do anything that goes too far, then it’ll be fine.” She then answered the call from Wang Wei and chatted with him. As time went on, Jingru often thought about whether or not Wang Wei would call, to the point where her heart began to look forward to it. Every time he called, Jingru would comfort herself before answering the phone very naturally…. As things progressed, the calls between Wang Wei and Jingru became more frequent. But after every call, Jingru would feel uneasy and pained, and she realized that her actions were not conforming to God’s will, and that her feelings of pain and unease were precisely God reminding her and reproaching her. She then immediately went before God and prayed: “O God! I know I shouldn’t keep in touch with Wang Wei, but I can’t control my own heart. I can’t help but indulge myself and slide down toward sin. O God! I don’t want my actions in this matter to displease You. O God! Please save me!”
Afterward, Jingru saw several passages of words, and she found the way to free herself from pain. God’s words say: “All of you live in a place of sin and licentiousness; you are all licentious and sinful people. Today you not only can see God, but more importantly, you have received chastisement and judgment, received such deepest salvation, that is, received God’s greatest love. … As you do not know how to lead a life or how to live, and you live in this licentious and sinful place and are licentious and filthy devils, He does not have the heart to let you become even more depraved; neither has He the heart to see you living in the filthy place like this, being trampled by Satan at will, or the heart to let you fall into Hades. He only wants to gain this group of you and thoroughly save you” (“The Inside Truth of the Conquering Work (4)”). It says in Sermons and Fellowship: “By now, you understand how all people who are trapped by lust finally end up, right? What is the final outcome for most of these people? Do they meet with curses? Are there any good outcomes? They do not attain peace all life long! This is the confusion and trouble to which lust leads; it is unbearable suffering! Of all those people who seek a marriage partner recklessly or abnormally, are there any who have a happy outcome? There are no good final results, and they ultimately meet with curses. That is not a thing to be toyed with” (“What Kind of Person Will Be Perfected by God” in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life (VII)).
“Think about when you see someone of the opposite sex and have some lewd thoughts, how do you deal with this problem? At the very least you must first respect marriage. If the person has a husband (or wife), then you need to respect this person’s marriage. You cannot interfere with someone’s marriage; to respect others is to respect yourself, if you do not respect others then you do not respect yourself. If you respect others then others will respect you. If in your heart you do not respect marriage then you do not have humanity. If you are able to respect marriage, if you are able to love others and respect others, then you will not do things that harm others. If you are able to refuse someone even when they throw themselves into your arms, then you are dealing with things properly. What must you be equipped with to be able to refuse these temptations and seductions? You must be equipped with the truth, then you will be able to see these things very clearly. After you are able to clearly see the substance of this issue, then you will know what kind of harm the actions on your part will bring to others, you will know what kind of injuries others suffer from in their hearts, you will know to what extent you’ve wrecked someone’s personality, and once you understand these things you will no longer act in ways that cause them; whenever these kinds of thoughts and ideas come into your mind you will be able to reject them, you will not be interested in them, you will not pay attention to them, because they will not sway your heart” (“Focusing on Solving Three Problems That Are Currently Widespread in the Church” in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life (VI)).
As she carefully contemplated God’s words and the words of fellowship, Jingru knew that she had fallen into an inescapable whirlpool of emotions because she had not seen through Satan’s cunning scheme or the essence, damage, and consequences of playing around with lust. Only as she reflected on this did she realize that it was Satan who was indoctrinating her with the ideas of “Love is supreme,” “The lovers finally get married,” “Don’t ask for eternity, be happy with now,” and “Love is not a sin” making her fantasize about a beautiful love and thus not be restrained by morals or her conscience, making her always think about Wang Wei, always keeping in touch with him, being entangled with him, and living in sin and coveting the pleasures of sin whilst not believing it to be wrong. Jingru thought of the many people around her who engaged in extramarital affairs, and of the many men who kept mistresses. Although they satisfied their transient lust, they ended up causing family quarrels and broken marriages, and there were even some people who were killed because of becoming enmeshed in a love triangle. Now, the “me too” online movement had exploded onto university campuses and into circles of public welfare and public information, and into the media, and there were many famous people and intellectuals who had been caught having one-night stands, who had been utterly discredited and whose names had become bywords for promiscuity. Chinese government officials in particular have both wives and mistresses, and many of them have been exploited and conspired against by their political enemies for having had extramarital affairs, resulting in them being thrown into prison as felons.
Jingru saw clearly that people engaged in extramarital affairs so as to satisfy their lusts, and that it was a negative, wicked thing that could only mire people in a quagmire of sin. Just like gamblers who want to gamble again when they lose, and who in the end bring their families to financial ruin and make their family members scattered far and wide, those who play with lust play once and then want to play again, they do it once and then want to do it again, and the more they play the emptier they become, until finally they sink into fornication and sin and cannot get back out. Ultimately, they ruin their own bodies and cause endless troubles for themselves in the future, and there are even some people who lose the will to live, and choose to end their own lives. So it seemed to Jingru that playing with lust was not a good thing to do; it was something sinful that would only bring punishment and the wrath of heaven down upon those who engaged in it, and that could only lead people along the path of destruction. Jingru then understood that satanic philosophy and logic were all delusional lies, untruths that deceived people, and tools by which Satan corrupted people, and that there was no true love between people who engaged in extramarital affairs. If someone had true love, then they would have humanity, they would respect the other person and respect the institution of marriage, and they would not do anything that would hurt another person. People who engaged in extramarital affairs were actually playing with each other’s lusts and using each other.
As she came to this realization, Jingru then went before God and prayed: “O God! I now realize the harmful consequences of living by Satan’s poisons. I don’t want to live in physical lust relying on these satanic poisons any longer. Staying in touch with Wang Wei is a life lived without integrity or dignity, and much less do I want to do anything that may bring shame on Your name or make me lose the testimony of a Christian. I pray that You give me a God-fearing heart, make me able to persevere with the principles of the truth and forsake my flesh, be a wise person who avoids danger when seeing it, and be someone who lives out a true human likeness to the glory of God.”
One day, on her way to church, Jingru bumped into Wang Wei. He was driving along the road and he called to her, and Jingru very much wanted to respond, but she immediately thought of God’s words and the prayer she’d spoken before God. She knew she couldn’t go on that way, so she just looked at Wang Wei sitting in his car, and said nothing. She continued on her way, riding her electric scooter, and Wang Wei began to follow along behind her, beeping his horn. In her heart, Jingru prayed silently to God and asked Him to keep her so that she could see through Satan’s cunning scheme and stand witness as a Christian. After praying, Jingru’s heart was calmed, and she gave Wang Wei no response. She just kept trying to think of how she could shake him off. It just so happened that they then came to a fork in the road, and when she saw Wang Wei’s car turning, she immediately turned in the opposite direction and sped off …
Jingru saw Wang Wei on the road many times thereafter, and she always treated him this way every time, and God opened up ways out for her: Either Wang Wei would bump into lots of people he knew, or it would be a traffic jam, and so he never had the opportunity to get close to Jingru. So that she wouldn’t have any more contact with Wang Wei, Jingru changed her mobile number, and as time went on, the two of them never mixed with each other again.
Recalling this experience, Jingru came to truly appreciate this: Now, in this world filled with myriad temptations, we will encounter all kinds of temptations and seductions from Satan every day, and because we are without the truth and cannot distinguish these things, and because we live by Satan’s poisons, we will be unable to stop ourselves from following evil trends, will become mired in sins that we are unable to escape from, and will be deceived and harmed by Satan. If we want to see through all the various temptations and cunning schemes of Satan, then there is only one path, which is to come before God, arm ourselves more with God’s words, understand more truths, learn how to tell the difference between positive and negative things, understand thoroughly all of Satan’s cunning ploys, base our outlook on God’s words when we encounter all people, matters and things, practice in accordance with God’s words, and act with principle, and only then will we not fall into the temptations of Satan. Just as God’s words say: “The truth that man needs to possess is found in the word of God, a truth that is the most beneficial and helpful to mankind. It is the tonic and sustenance that your body needs, something that helps man restore his normal humanity, a truth that man should be equipped with. The more you practice God’s word, the more quickly your life will blossom; the more you practice God’s word, the clearer the truth becomes. As you grow in stature, you will see things of the spiritual world more clearly, and you will be more powerful to triumph over Satan” (“Practice the Truth Once You Understand It”).
Jingru sighed with emotion, and thought: “Had it not been for God saving and protecting me through His words, I would long ago have degenerated into someone without a human likeness, and I would have done things devoid of integrity or dignity, like those people who have extramarital affairs, who become the lovers of married people, and who become the other woman. I would also have been burdened with the bad name of a home-wrecker, and would have lived a degraded life, suffering the condemnation of my own conscience.” From the bottom of her heart, Jingru gave thanks and praise to God! Today, her life has regained its previous tranquility, she joyfully performs her duty in the church, she accepts the judgment and purification of God’s words, and she is striding toward a life of true happiness. All glory be to God!
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